So, I am lying here in bed at 7:00pm on a Tuesday night with a glass of wine. Yep, it was that kind of day. It was rough, emotional and just not myself. More like out of sorts.
If you look back at my previous posts, I had a hard friendship end recently. And I know that what occured and what caused it has nothing to do with me, just taken out on me. But It doesn't mean I don't hurt? I guess I have been mourning in a sense. Which seems crazy to some, but I have been.
It is hard when you get messages from said person bashing you,your friends, family etc... And in your heart you take it personally. I am a person who stands up for her family and friends. Especially when they are being attacked like that. However, you start to think that maybe what is said by said person is right... I know Crazy. But it affects you. Seriously, its insane how much words can affect a person when they are down and out for a sec. I mean, ask anyone who knows me... even some blogger readers know me on a personal level. I am the kind of person who is full of confidence, never was in a clique persay, just always knew who I was, what I stood for etc... I was popular in school and everyone liked me. But lately my confidence and self-esteem has been tested by the words of said person. It's hard. I second guess my relationships, friendships. Heck today, I thought my best guy friend/mentor didn't like hanging out with me because of said person's arguement that he was being nice to me just to be nice. Can you say I have lost it?! ha -ha. I mean where in the heck am I? Twilight zone?!
I have to re group. This is so not me.. its not the Silvia that I know or anyone else knows. I am always in control and I am letting these faulse words affect me? Why?
Hoping to better days ...