Rough Day...

So, I am lying here in bed at 7:00pm on a Tuesday night with a glass of wine. Yep, it was that kind of day. It was rough, emotional and just not myself. More like out of sorts.

If you look back at my previous posts, I had a hard friendship end recently. And I know that what occured and what caused it has nothing to do with me, just taken out on me. But It doesn't mean I don't hurt? I guess I have been mourning in a sense. Which seems crazy to some, but I have been.

It is hard when you get messages from said person bashing you,your friends, family etc... And in your heart you take it personally. I am a person who stands up for her family and friends. Especially when they are being attacked like that. However, you start to think that maybe what is said by said person is right... I know Crazy. But it affects you. Seriously, its insane how much words can affect a person when they are down and out for a sec. I mean, ask anyone who knows me... even some blogger readers know me on a personal level. I am the kind of person who is full of confidence, never was in a clique persay, just always knew who I was, what I stood for etc... I was popular in school and everyone liked me. But lately my confidence and self-esteem has been tested by the words of said person. It's hard. I second guess my relationships, friendships. Heck today, I thought my best guy friend/mentor didn't like hanging out with me because of said person's arguement that he was being nice to me just to be nice. Can you say I have lost it?! ha -ha. I mean where in the heck am I? Twilight zone?!

I have to re group. This is so not me.. its not the Silvia that I know or anyone else knows. I am always in control and I am letting these faulse words affect me? Why?

Hoping to better days ...
-Silvia

7 comments:

molly YEH! said...

why? because you're obviously a sensitive and caring person, and even though you're not friends with this person anymore, you still care about them and what they have to say. it would be weird if that mean stuff didn't affect you... you'd be lifeless! just know that the meanie obviously has issues of their own, or else they wouldn't be saying that stuff.
i've been there before and it sucks. but you're not the only one that feels the way you do about that person if he/she is being so mean to you.
cheer up, old chap! things will get better with lots of nutella.

Julie (brown eyed belle) said...

Oh, I'm so sorry! Situations like this are so awful. I'm just like you. I always let things that really don't matter or people's false words upset me so much. It will get better though, just give it time. I'm thinking about you!

Allison said...

I am so sorry honey. I can empathize with your post. Keep your chin up. I am here for you.

I'maNolaGirl said...

Oh, Silvia. This post makes me want to give you a big hug. Believe in yourself and in your friendships. The ones that are important will keep you going through all of this.

Have a better day tomorrow!

Melissa said...

I'm so sorry that you are going through this. I totally empathize with you since I am the same way.

Hugs and I'm here if you need me.

Angel said...

Just remember... 90% of the human race sucks. Good thing you are part of the 10% that doesn't!

Jill said...

Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry you're feeling bad. Hang in there, girl. Don't let this person change the way you feel about yourself. If you do, then she wins. You're a beautiful and great person. Don't forget that!

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